Five ways to save the fading sport of track and field
Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2007 3:09 am
http://www.theolympian.com/sports/blog/ ... 32156.html
Five ways to save the fading sport of track and field
Howie Stalwick
For The Olympian
Dear Track and Field:
Your sport is stupid.
Sincerely,
The World
Oh, if only it was that simple.
Wait a minute. It IS that simple.
Track and field, run the way it is today, is to rocket science what Britney Spears is to parenting.
A beautiful sport, so grand and visible and important at one time, has been relegated to the agate section of newspapers everywhere.
And television coverage? The financial godsend of the sports world? You have a better chance of finding an NHL game on television than a track meet, even though PBS documentaries on whale mating draw higher ratings than the NHL.
Hockey and track have been remarkably similar in their attempts to market themselves. That is, the brain trusts of both sports are, in fact, brain dead.
Thank goodness that yours truly, fresh from covering the NCAA track championships in Sacramento last week for The Olympian and other publications, has arrived on the scene just in time to save track and field from itself. And don't worry, hockey fans -- I'll save your sport later.
Following are the five easy steps necessary to make track and field at least slightly more relevant than soccer, C-SPAN and Phil Donahue:
1) Never, ever, EVER again announce, print or in any manner whatsoever refer to distances in meters. We are Americans; we are too stubborn, arrogant and ignorant to learn the metric system. Deal with it. No one knows, cares about or wants to figure out what 69.35 meters means.
2) Catch up with the 20th century -- we'll worry about the 21st century in due time -- and print names and numbers on the backs of jerseys. Spectators need the Hubble telescope would to read the names and/or numbers on jersey bibs. And why should anyone but a toddler wear a bib, anyway?
3) Trim way, way, WAY back on the number of events and athletes. The college 10,000-meter run is a gazillion-laps snore-fest. Get rid of it. Eliminate or greatly reduce the number of prelims. No one wants to watch five heats of the 1,600 relay. And what's with that 800 relay for high school girls? Gas it -- no one would notice.
4) Hold every event in the main stadium. At far too many meets, the throwers are transformed into off-Broadway performers, banished to the track and field hinterlands. At Sacramento, spectators needed GPS systems to navigate their way around corn dog stands, storage sheds and Official NCAA Athlete Urine Testing Stations to watch Shelton's Nick Owens and Olympia's Adam Midles finish in the top five in a thrilling hammer competition. Unfortunately, they were seen by a fraction of the fans who watched every other event staged inside Hornet Stadium.
5) Give the media a break. Face it -- you're dealing with low-life sports writers, not the brightest of mammals. When someone breaks a record, records one of the world's best times or does something else significant, highlight those feats when distributing results. A brief, oft-garbled announcement over the public address system -- which could barely be heard inside the sauna that Sacramento State cleverly disguised as a press box -- is not good enough.
Like it or not, track and field, the media is your primary connection to the masses. Your steadfast refusal to reach out to the media, or the masses, or damn near anyone outside your ever-shrinking inner circle, is killing a sport that can be so wondrous.
Now, about that plan to save hockey.
Howie Stalwick is a freelance sports writer in Post Falls, Idaho. He covers Washington State football, WSU and Gonzaga men's basketball and various other sports for The Olympian and dozens of other newspapers and magazines across North America.
Five ways to save the fading sport of track and field
Howie Stalwick
For The Olympian
Dear Track and Field:
Your sport is stupid.
Sincerely,
The World
Oh, if only it was that simple.
Wait a minute. It IS that simple.
Track and field, run the way it is today, is to rocket science what Britney Spears is to parenting.
A beautiful sport, so grand and visible and important at one time, has been relegated to the agate section of newspapers everywhere.
And television coverage? The financial godsend of the sports world? You have a better chance of finding an NHL game on television than a track meet, even though PBS documentaries on whale mating draw higher ratings than the NHL.
Hockey and track have been remarkably similar in their attempts to market themselves. That is, the brain trusts of both sports are, in fact, brain dead.
Thank goodness that yours truly, fresh from covering the NCAA track championships in Sacramento last week for The Olympian and other publications, has arrived on the scene just in time to save track and field from itself. And don't worry, hockey fans -- I'll save your sport later.
Following are the five easy steps necessary to make track and field at least slightly more relevant than soccer, C-SPAN and Phil Donahue:
1) Never, ever, EVER again announce, print or in any manner whatsoever refer to distances in meters. We are Americans; we are too stubborn, arrogant and ignorant to learn the metric system. Deal with it. No one knows, cares about or wants to figure out what 69.35 meters means.
2) Catch up with the 20th century -- we'll worry about the 21st century in due time -- and print names and numbers on the backs of jerseys. Spectators need the Hubble telescope would to read the names and/or numbers on jersey bibs. And why should anyone but a toddler wear a bib, anyway?
3) Trim way, way, WAY back on the number of events and athletes. The college 10,000-meter run is a gazillion-laps snore-fest. Get rid of it. Eliminate or greatly reduce the number of prelims. No one wants to watch five heats of the 1,600 relay. And what's with that 800 relay for high school girls? Gas it -- no one would notice.
4) Hold every event in the main stadium. At far too many meets, the throwers are transformed into off-Broadway performers, banished to the track and field hinterlands. At Sacramento, spectators needed GPS systems to navigate their way around corn dog stands, storage sheds and Official NCAA Athlete Urine Testing Stations to watch Shelton's Nick Owens and Olympia's Adam Midles finish in the top five in a thrilling hammer competition. Unfortunately, they were seen by a fraction of the fans who watched every other event staged inside Hornet Stadium.
5) Give the media a break. Face it -- you're dealing with low-life sports writers, not the brightest of mammals. When someone breaks a record, records one of the world's best times or does something else significant, highlight those feats when distributing results. A brief, oft-garbled announcement over the public address system -- which could barely be heard inside the sauna that Sacramento State cleverly disguised as a press box -- is not good enough.
Like it or not, track and field, the media is your primary connection to the masses. Your steadfast refusal to reach out to the media, or the masses, or damn near anyone outside your ever-shrinking inner circle, is killing a sport that can be so wondrous.
Now, about that plan to save hockey.
Howie Stalwick is a freelance sports writer in Post Falls, Idaho. He covers Washington State football, WSU and Gonzaga men's basketball and various other sports for The Olympian and dozens of other newspapers and magazines across North America.