How do you deal with parents?

[scpolevaulter]

This year we have had a lot of trouble with the parents of our club. They have just dont seem to get it!!! We had a girl that was a senior in high school jumping 11 feet and was prepairing to try and walk on at C of C but her mother told her that she could not vault this summer and may have ruined her chances. We also had a guy that was seeded 5th going into regionals in Florida and his dad said they werent going because he wouldnt qualify. Ya sure cant qualify if ya dont GO!!! We also had 41 athletes qualify for regionals (not all were vaulters but all of our vaulters qualified!!!) and only 5 decided to go to regionals.

How do you deal with parents that wont give their children a chance and is this common with other clubs?

[VaultPurple]

This year we have had a lot of trouble with the parents of our club. They have just dont seem to get it!!! We had a girl that was a senior in high school jumping 11 feet and was prepairing to try and walk on at C of C but her mother told her that she could not vault this summer and may have ruined her chances. We also had a guy that was seeded 5th going into regionals in Florida and his dad said they werent going because he wouldn't qualify. Ya sure cant qualify if ya dont GO!!! We also had 41 athletes qualify for regionals (not all were vaulters but all of our vaulters qualified!!!) and only 5 decided to go to regionals.

How do you deal with parents that wont give their children a chance and is this common with other clubs?

Sometimes you just have to deal with what you have to deal with and there is not much getting around it.

But sometimes it is nice to slow down, take a few deep breaths, and evaluate the situation. If your high school girl pole vaulter is jumping 11', the coach is not going to care if she vaults through the summer or not. The majority of college try outs do not even have the pole vaulter pole vault. Just recommend she try to stay in shape and keep exercising on her own and she will be fine. Honestly at 11' if she were to email or call the coach she would probably be guaranteed a spot on the team without the tryout (if the team has preferred walk on spots, which most do).

As far as the guy goes, sometimes a trip out of state is not financially worth it to a family. As coaches we do it because we love the sport and have a true passion for it. We would like to think everyone that pole vaulted had the exact same passion, but for some people and their support staff that is just not true.

[souleman]

Vault purple hit it on the head. As to the boy, was his attendance to the meet a make or break for the rest of his career? Or would a great performance make your team or club look good? Out of State trips are expensive and with things as expensive as they are today the family budget might not be able to handle it. The "he wouldn't qualify" statement might have been a cover up to the fact that the trip was not affordable to the family. As to the girl? Yes this event does take a great amount of committment by the athlete as well as the family (parents). I'm from Minnesota. We have families spending tens of thousands of dollars a year on hockey ice time, camps, equipment etc. Now THAT'S a committment. That's the whole family activity. Hockey. Maybe her desires are only to do her 11 feet in high school and walk on to a college team. Maybe her committment is there but the family's is not. Not much you can do about that except make your case to the family (Mom) and hope for the best. Key thing to remember here is it's all about the athletes and not about the team or the club or group you hope he or she will represent. Don't get me wrong. Team is important but our focus as coaches is to do the best we can for the athlete first and team second. If I had an issue with parents it may be the ones who have a knowledge (from the 70's) about the event and are coaching their kid on the way to or home from club. Much of what they suggest I don't coach (even though my best vaulting days were back in the 60's) and therefore I have to un-coach the 70's and spend twice as long getting back to what I'm coaching. I've only had one or two of those so I guess I'm lucky. But that's the situation that drives me crazy.