You Might be a Redneck Pole Vaulter

[skijmpnvaulter]

Kinda a northern MN/WI thing


If you ever cleared over a foot of snow off the pit and runway in mid April cause you were tired of listening to wussy runners complain of the snow and you just wanted to get outside.

If your big door for the indoor facility keeps getting snow drifts sneaking under it.

If you stand in the snow outside cause its less crowded and colder than the ice bath.

If the term "with gust to 60mph" means nothing to you.

If you have ever ran with the cover into the wind to see how high it would carry you. (True story, cept coming down from 10+ feet hurts sometimes)

If your throws coach thinks all there is to pole vaulting is getting your skinny little butt over that bar so we can go home. (It was 10:30 and he wasn't happy, the meet started at 2.)

[mjaubbs40]

When you get little pieces of chalk caught in your beard before meeting your future mother in law.

When you use safety pins from your competition bib # on your baby's diapers.

When you use your tractor for platform/tower vault drills.

When you ask your friends/family to grab some grip tape from the garage and they bring back duct tape.

[Tim McMichael]

If you know that gasket sealer mixed with lighter fluid is the best possible grip. (Don't do this. Gasket sealer is a carcinogen. - It's also hell on blisters.)

If you know that leaving the weather cover unlatched is the best way to keep the wind from blowing your pit away.

If you look forward to staying at a hotel because you get more than 5 channels.

If you know what the weather is going to be by watching how the hogs behave.

If the phrase your coach repeats most often at practice is, "Drive it to Wichita and frog up on it!"

If the helmet you wear at meets is made of leather and once belonged to your Grandfather.

If singing the national anthem before the meet just doesn't feel right because the flag is not being carried around the arena by a beautiful girl on a white horse, and there isn't a prayer afterward with the word "cowboy" in it.

[Tim McMichael]

When you use safety pins from your competition bib # on your baby's diapers.

Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha

My wife almost hit me when I said that all we really needed was a few cloth diapers and a shop-vac.

[Tim McMichael]

If your coach has ever knelt down behind the pit to take a pee during a meet.

If you make your team tent out of the other school's weather cover.

[mjaubbs40]

When in a pinch, you break up a few hay bails to cover your standards and any hard surfaces around the pit.

When your kids sneak a pole out of the garage to vault across the creek in the back woods.

When you find out that your youngest son tried using the pole for fishing.

When your meet sun hat is a sombrero with a John Deere label and a pole vaulter sewed on.

When your sun umbrella has a John Deere symbol on it.

When you set the timer on your watch to go off when it's time to move the sprinkler to water the grass around the runway & pit (which looks immaculate as the rest of your yard is brown from a drought).

[Tim McMichael]

If your standards keep malfunctioning because falling poles keep knocking the vice grips off.

If you have mastered the technique of exhaling and closing your eyes as you land so you are not suffocated and blinded by pit dust.

If you have borrowed your mothers T-Shirt that says "Let Those Who Ride Decide" to protest a mandatory helmet rule.

If one of the highlights of your developing athleticism was when you outran your dad carrying a 22 to shoot whatever was eating the chickens.

If it turned out to be a bear and you also outran your dad back to the house to get a bigger gun.

If your grandpa chewed you out because you quote, "let a Frenchman in bicycle pants beat you."

If you were so culturally clueless that you went for a jog wearing red tights in the wrong part of Amsterdam.

If one of the primary elements of your coach's vault theory relies on prayer and the existence of guardian angels.

If you have, on more than one occasion, fallen back on this idea.

If you have ever thought about standing in the parking lot with a shotgun and waiting for them to release the doves during the opening ceremony.

[mjaubbs40]

If your standards keep malfunctioning because falling poles keep knocking the vice grips off.

Oh my gosh, it's like you were at my house last summer!

If at a local track meet, when the official starter said he ran out of shots, one of the parents says, "you can use my 22."

When being prepared for a meet means a fanny pack with a swiss army knife, extra spikes, vice grips, band aids, athletic tape, duct tape, electrical tape, ben gay, sunscreen and ibruprofin.

When your vaulters have to do 25 pushups for each step they take on the newly planted "baby grass" around the pit & runway.

[BlueGoldPolevaulter167]

This is a Great post... thumbs up good for a few laughs

[Tim McMichael]

If you know how hard it is to pull a section of pit out of a creek.

If you put your pit up on tires and this raises it more than three feet off the ground.

If a bug zapper too close to the runway helped you really understand that carbon poles conduct electricity.

If the philosophy behind the construction of your facility is "It ain't stealing if they weren't going to use it anyway."

If this is why you know how hard it is to get 300 pounds of conveyor belt over a security fence in the dark.

If your grandfather has ever been in a fistfight with an official.

[souleman]

If your neighbor replaced his treated wood picket fence with chain link, and you took the picket fence and made a runway base out of it. (turned out pretty nice too). Later...........Mike

[2-15-46]

[quote="souleman"]If your neighbor replaced his treated wood picket fence with chain link, and you took the picket fence and made a runway base out of it. (turned out pretty nice too). Later...........Mike[/quote


Is there enuff sun in Mn. to get your neck red?? ;)