Chuck Norris

A forum to discuss anything that does not have to do with pole vaulting.
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achtungpv
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Unread postby achtungpv » Fri Dec 30, 2005 6:02 pm

distancejumper wrote:Superman wheres Chuck Norris Pajamas


Did you misplace them or something?
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ashcraftpv
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Unread postby ashcraftpv » Fri Dec 30, 2005 7:46 pm

Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

To prove it isn’t that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
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Unread postby LHSpolevault » Fri Dec 30, 2005 11:19 pm

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

" " counted to infinity -- twice.

" " sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad.
^i love that one^ hahah

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distancejumper
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Unread postby distancejumper » Tue Jan 03, 2006 6:03 pm

the government's lying to you...

it wasn't terrorists flying into the twin towers, chuck norris just got pissed and the government was to scared to arrest him so they made it look like it was terrorists

crabitt_me
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Chuck

Unread postby crabitt_me » Mon Jan 09, 2006 9:52 pm

When Chuck Norris's wife burned the Thanksgiving turkey, Chuck then proceeded to go out and catch a live turkey, eat it whole and then vomited it perfectly cooked with cranberry juice and gravy. When his wife asked him how he did it, he promptly roundhouse kicked her to the face and said "never question Chuck!"

crabitt_me
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God vs. Chuck

Unread postby crabitt_me » Mon Jan 09, 2006 9:55 pm

When God said "Let there be light!" Chuck said, "Say please".

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ashcraftpv
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Unread postby ashcraftpv » Tue Jan 10, 2006 4:02 am

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers
the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably.

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.

Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
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rainbowgirl28
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Unread postby rainbowgirl28 » Tue Jan 10, 2006 1:25 pm

You guys, give me a break.

Keep the jokes clean or I am locking the thread and forbidding all Chuck Norris jokes.

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Scott Go Pre
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Unread postby Scott Go Pre » Tue Jan 10, 2006 1:53 pm

rainbowgirl28 wrote:You guys, give me a break.

Keep the jokes clean or I am locking the thread and forbidding all Chuck Norris jokes.


Sorry that all these jokes came out Becca. I just wanted to know why everyone is making these jokes about Chuck Norris.
Rely upon God with all your heart, do not rely on your own insight. ~ Proverbs 3:5

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Mecham
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Unread postby Mecham » Tue Jan 10, 2006 2:34 pm

Yeah me too.

I was thinking today.... ouch.... and this is what came out of it.

You know those automatic sliding doors that open up for us? Well... All doors open for Chuck Norris automatically.

Who would win in a vault competition between Bubka, and Chuck Norris?

I'm sorry for you Norris fans, but Bubka is way WAY tougher than Chuck Norris. ;)
Just you wait...

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Unread postby LHSpolevault » Tue Jan 10, 2006 4:07 pm

sorry Becca :o

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Unread postby VaultMarq26 » Tue Jan 10, 2006 5:25 pm

Since Chuck Norris can't roundhouse kick over 20', I will have to go with Bubka
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